Your Body Already Knows: Learning to Trust Your Inner Yes and No

Your body has always known how to say yes and no. It's been doing it since before you were born - opening toward what nourishes you, closing against what doesn't serve you. This isn't something you need to learn. But you might need to... remember.

Think about it: your immune system recognizes what belongs and what doesn't. Your digestive system knows what to take in and what to get out of your system. Your entire organism is designed to move toward what feels good and right, and to retreat from what feels foreign or off.

But somewhere along the way, many of us learned to override these signals. Maybe it was childhood trauma that taught us. Maybe an experience in our adolescence that planted a seed of doubt in ourselves... Maybe an abusive relationship... At some point we stopped trusting our body to tell us, what's right for us.

When Your Body Speaks a Language You've Forgotten

Sometimes "no" shows up as the subtle turn of your shoulders. The impulse to look away. The sudden need for more space.

Sometimes "yes" looks like a soft forward lean. A deeper exhale. The way your chest opens toward something nourishing.

In somatic work, we treat these cues as truth-telling - your nervous system's native language. These aren't random sensations. They're intelligent responses from a system that's constantly reading your environment and guiding you toward safety, connection, and authenticity.

Why It Gets Complicated

Many of us learned early on that our boundaries weren't safe to express. That saying no meant losing connection. That our needs caused conflict or were too much for the people around us.

So your body learned to hold it in. As tension in your jaw. Tightness in your chest. Words that won't come. The signal is there - it's always been there. It just can't get out.

And when that happens repeatedly, you start to lose trust in your own inner knowing. You second-guess yourself. You look outside for permission to feel what you're already feeling.

Bridging Feeling and Expressing

Rebuilding the bridge between what your body feels and what you're able to express takes time. It's not about forcing yourself to suddenly have perfect boundaries or to speak up in every situation - start with recognising the wish for change and slowly but surely proceed walking the path towards it.

First, learn to recognize your body's signals. What does "no" feel like in your body? Where do you sense it? What does "yes" feel like? This awareness is the foundation.

Then give those signals a voice - even just to yourself at first. You might simply name it internally: "My body is saying no to this." That acknowledgment begins to restore trust between you and your own system.

The more you honor what your body is telling you, the easier it becomes to speak it. Your nervous system needs proof that boundaries are safe. Start in low risk situations. It needs evidence that expressing your truth won't lead to abandonment or punishment.

Practice with low-stakes situations first. Feel it in your body, then let your body support your words. Notice how your posture can help you stand in your truth. Your breath can ground you when you speak.

There's no right timing. It is your choice, your pace - your body and your life.

I Belong to Myself

One of my favorite healing sentences is: "I belong to myself."

This is what we're working toward in somatic sessions - the felt sense that you have the right to take up space, to have needs, to say no, to say yes. That you don't need to apologize for being yourself or for having boundaries. And that having them doesn't mean you disregard everyone else.

When you learn to trust your body's wisdom again, something shifts. You stop looking outside yourself for validation. You stop contorting yourself to fit into spaces that don't actually welcome the real you. You start making choices that are aligned with who you truly are.

A Practice for Today

Notice one small boundary your body has already signaled - and see what happens when you trust it.

First - in your body. Feel it as fully as you feel safe to. Track the sensations.

Learning your body's "yes"

Think of something that's a clear yes for you: a favorite song, someone you trust, warm sunlight...

Notice what happens:

How is your breath, maybe deeper?

How soft are your shoulders?

How does it feel in your chest?

That's your body's yes.

Recognising your body's "no"

Bring to mind something that's an obvious no — a food you dislike, an obligation that drains you.

Feel what shifts:

What happens to your breath?

Is there tension in your jaw or belly?

Does your body want to pull back or turn away?

That's your body's no.

Then, when you're ready, practice your words.

First, feel it in your body. Name sensations. Feel your feet on the ground.

Then give it a voice — even just to yourself at first.

Start small:

"I need a moment"

"That doesn't work for me"

"Let me check in with myself first"

You may add a hand gesture - lifting a bent arm with the palm facing away from you (or sth else that works).

Yes, it might feel uncomfortable at first. That discomfort is normal - it's your nervous system recalibrating to a new possibility. But notice how it grows on you. How each time you honor your body's truth, it becomes a little easier. How you start to feel more at home in yourself.

Working with me in individual somatic sessions means learning to speak your body's language fluently again. We create a safe space where your nervous system can practice expressing what it's been holding. Where boundaries can be explored at your pace. Where you can discover that it's possible to be fully yourself and still be met with acceptance.

If you're ready to reconnect with your body's innate wisdom and rebuild trust in your own yes and no, I'd love to support you in that journey.

Individual somatic sessions available online. Book a discovery call or a session.